unfocused mess of engagements, traveling, school


These peaceful waters don't really match the title, do they? Let me explain.

I've needed to write a post for awhile now and lots of things have been going on. So I kept thinking...this would be a good one...oh, so would this...and this...
It got to the point I had so many topic options, no pictures, and zero time to focus. So yesterday, I went kayaking to clear my head. And that's where the pictures came from.

I'm usually a fairly schizophrenic writer so to be as clear as possible to help my brain think I decided this post would be best in list format. (I also joined Lumosity so see if that could help my scattered brain. You all can be my judges seeing if my posts will become more cohesive...or not.)

Current Decisions:
should i stay here at the clinic for another two months?
should i start a master's program to get my family nurse practitioner license?
should i just get my bsn first and then get my msn?
should i go to japan first, if so for short or long term?
how can i best be used to encourage the japan churches from here?
should i look for a job back at home?
should i go to japan if though i'd be by myself?
is tuition reimbursement important enough to commit two years at home?

Current Events:
2 weeks ago: clinic offered a two month extension to stay in Kenosha
2 weekends ago: my cousins, aunt, sister-in-law, nieces and mom came up to visit me (such a blast, but alas, i didn't take a single picture)
last week: interviewed for the asn-msn program (most relaxed i've ever been in an interview, but the campus brought back many stressful memories of nursing school)
three days ago: my cousin Taye gets engaged (who is like a sister to me)


Asking guidance from my elders has usually been fairly easy for me. But taking that next step to figure out how to practice the theories and advice is usually my weakness. So I've been praying quite a bit, finding myself becoming stir crazy because if I can't decide where I'm going to be the rest of my life, or even two months from now, I most certainly won't be able to decide what kind of soy sauce I should buy. 

Our minds combine with Satan's plans so easily taking one idea and making it into a billion immeasurable pieces, to make every problem or question without an answer into the perfect reason to just not make any decision. 

But I was encouraged by Nehemiah 1 yesterday at Belvidere. It reminded me of a sermon I heard probably over two years ago pointing out that Nehemiah had to pray from the very beginning, before talking with the King, before he made his plans known, before the story could even start. His prayer was the refining fire before taking his request to the King. 

Other points I noticed were that his prayer was immediate after hearing the need. Also, he had to ask what needs there were. "And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem." And then once he heard of the need he wept, fasted, and prayed, a very humble and fearful prayer. And lastly, he had a specific vision when he went to the King. "And I said to the King, "if it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor in your sight, that you send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' graves, that I may rebuild it...let letters be given me to the governors of the province Beyond the River, that they may let me pass through until I come to Judah, and a letter to Asaph, the keeper of the king's forest, that he may give me timber to make beams for the gates of the fortress of the temple, and for he wall of the city, and for the house that I shall occupy."
"And the King granted me what I asked, for the good hand of my God was upon me."

He had a specific request/vision he made known to the King ONLY after the need was discussed, weeping and fasting were exercised, and the prayer was humbly given.  


Below are a few other verses that have touched my heart recently too:

Proverbs 11:14 "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."
Proverbs 16:2-3,9 "All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established...The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."



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